The Manolo No-Poncho Pledge
Manolo says, it looks like something the carefully groomed, pedigreed siamese had dragged in.
Manolo says, the Manolo he thought he had buried the poncho this most unattractive of the fashions. But now, thanks to the Martha, it is again rising from the grave!
Formerly, the Manolo he had regarded the poncho as merely the benign if ridiculous fashion trend.
Now, the Manolo he realizes that the poncho it is the evil incarnate.
It is the loathsome seducer of the womens. It calls in the sweet voice, "I am the poncho, if you wear me I will help you conceal your flaws. I promise, your hips, they will disappear under my protective cover of man-made fibers. Look, darling, you can even make me yourself for $1.49 in the material. Choose the aqua yarn. It is pretty no?"
And so you go with the poncho, and you wear it out to the business meeting, on the hot date, or to the social of the church, and all it seems well.
Then, one morning, you wake up hung over, and the bank account it is empty, and there are twenty-seven ponchos of various ridiculous colors and patterns in the closet.
In that instant you realize that your life it has been wasted on this loser of the fashion. Worse, thanks to the ubiquity of the digital cameras, for the next twenty years you will have to look at the family photos in which you appear to be the over-stuffed sofa covered with the homemade afghan.
Do not have this happen to you. Do not be seduced by the poncho.
You can help the Manolo put the stake into the heart of this hideous vampire by taking the Manolo No-Poncho Pledge.
The Manolo No-Poncho Pledge
"I (insert the name here) swear on the head and/or the grave of my sainted granny to never wear, buy, knit, crochet, or fashion from the old throw rug, the poncho. And if the poncho it is given to me as the gift, I will graciously thank the giver and then, when she has left, put the poncho into the dog's bed and/or the trash as the case she may be. Only by doing these things faithfully can I help end for the good of the humanity the scourge that is the poncho. So help me Manolo."
Manolo says, it is indeed sad that is has come to this point.
P.S. Many thanks to the Manolo's internet friend the Dena for pointing out the pictures of the Martha with her poncho.
posted by Manolo at Wednesday, March 09, 2005
20 Comments:
"Then, one morning, you wake up hung over, and the bank account it is empty, and there are twenty-seven ponchos of various ridiculous colors and patterns in the closet."
OMG, I laughed out loud when I read this! HILARIOUS! The Manolo, he is genius. =D
This is the true meaning of the poncho, the essence of the poncho: a drab, gray warm blanket knitted by a woman in prison for an old fellow inmate.
I took the pledge when I first saw the poncho! Thank you for such a super fabulous post! The Manolo is indeed the genius!
-supa
the pancho made of water repellant material is ok to wear when fishing to keep the rain away. yes?
Dearest Manolo,
I took the pledge - thank you for opening my eyes. Would you mind making a few suggestions on outerwear for Spring? I need something to keep me warm on the chilly Northern California evenings. Seeing as I can't wear a poncho, I'm open to other recommendations.
Kristin
To the brilliant Manolo,
I have taken the poncho pledge, with the exception only of the plastic poncho in the heavy rain, when the digital cameras will not be used.
Ooohhh, Cisco!
wow, can you spell 'snarky', folks? I thought it was sweet that she wore something made for her by another inmate. She knows it's not coture. It was a gesture. Geez.
I, after getting my laughter under control, have taken the No-Poncho Pledge. I humbly admit to having knitted one (but only one! and I never wear it!) poncho. I am a reformed poncho maker!
But to be honest, I couldn't throw away a knitted gift nor could I encourage others to do so... couldn't we just give the ponchos to our sainted grannies to wear as a lap blanket? Or to prepubescent hip-less girl children?
Manolo,
But the poncho..it was a gift from an inmate who spent days working at the prison to save enough money to buy the yarn for Martha's poncho.
See Martha discuss it here:http://wcbs.dayport.com/viewer/viewerpage.php?Art_ID=23769&tf=video_player.tpl&Category_ID=48
(it takes a minute for her to get to the poncho point)
I think this inmate could become rich. She could sell enough ponchos to buy a large, Italian estate...a poncho villa, if you will!
I trust you'll be at her parole hearing to assure this does not happen.
Perhaps she could take the pennies she earns each day and adopt a child from the tv rather than make the scary ponchos no?
~tara :)
Yes, I have knitted a poncho for my sister who insisted that I make her one. I have never worn one because like you, I do not believe that it will cover my big hips and tummy but indeed make me look like a big tent wearing a big poncho.
As a knitter, I do think that it was sweet of the woman to knit it for Martha and it was nice of Martha to wear it in public.
Dearest Manolo...what do you think of the shawl intead of the poncho?
"...for the next twenty years you will have to look at the family photos in which you appear to be the over-stuffed sofa covered with the homemade afghan."
The Manolo has the ways with the words. These words-- "the over-stuffed sofa covered with the homemade afghan"--the words of the "genius" who makes the laughs of the workers of the offices in the afternoons between the boredoms of the workings and the leavings. :-)
yes, yes! the poncho she is the siren calling you to be dashed against the rocks of fugly. But manolo, dime mi amor...what about the capelet? In the season finale of Project runway Jay was showing a lovely aqua capelet, Kara was wearing a plum capelet and sweater set ......am I in denial to think that the capelet if done right (and there is the huge margin for the error) can be superfantastic?
The poncho, she is only for the gaucho, who rides upon the pampas.
When I saw the poncho last season I saw it for the fad it was and did not fall for it. I see evil and avoid it. Plus, it is not flattering for one such as I, with a curvy figure. One such as I wears the fitted coat and the belted narrow sweater.
But I think it is sweet of the prison women to knit the poncho for the Martha. For them, the poncho is still the height of the fashion. As are the leg warmers. And the low rise Britney pants. They are behind the times, being behind the bars.
ah Manolo, the lure of the poncho has already spoken to me in its wicked seductive voice. While I have not given in to the poncho voice, I am getting weaker.
Can someone talk me down?
Oh, Manolo, I hear the call of the poncho, and it says "wear me when you walk in the woods." Would the poncho not be acceptable in a utilitarian role, which it was originally intended - a warm item of clothing that is worn among the trees and animals of the wild?
I appreciate the Manolo's sage wisdom about the fashion that is super-fantastic, do not think I do not. I also spend much time in the wilds of nature, in which one must admit different rules apply. Please help, for I am confused.
Google Ads is trying to sabotage the No-Poncho Pledge! I noticed that this ad is now at the top of Manolo's Shoeblog:
"Sexy handmade ponchos that starlets adore. Cashmere, bright colors. Shipped from Canada!"
Noooooooooooo...
(And I'm not sure why a Canadian poncho would be so exciting. Are we Canadians somehow famous for our poncho-craft?)
I'm not exactly a fan of ponchos either, but I think it's terrible to encourage someone to throw a poncho gift into the dog bed or the trash. That would be such a waste, and awfully insensitive. If it's not wanted, it would be much better to donate it to a thrift store or charity. I'm sure there are plenty of women who could use it and would appreciate it.
Methinks the poncho she is called the muumuu in the Hawai'i. On either of the hands, it is the garment for the very large of the women, or the women of any of the sizes who wishes to look very large. Like the muumuu.
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